The NY Times reported on an event where the actor/writer/entertainer Steve Martin appeared at the Y in NYC last week. The article’s headline shouted “Comedian Conversation Falls Flat at 92nd Street Y”.   Today that article (link below) is the paper’s most read online piece.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/02/nyregion/02refund.html?partner=rss&emc=rss

People paid to see Mr. Martin speak (interview style). Yours truly is also a big fan of Mr. Martin’s and if I was in NYC I’d surely have paid for the experience as well.  My first Martin experience was Christmas 1981 unwrapping his comedy album on vinyl and listening to it over and over again at home in Canada. 

Steve Martin has a long history in the film world and he’s also an accomplished writer, musician and stand-up comic. A man with experience like that has, obviously, many, many stories.  Any audience, regardless if they’ve paid to see a speaker or not, wants to somehow find human connection to the person they’ve come to see.  To try and find some human connection to a man of Steve Martin’s stature is a big deal for a lot of people who’ve spent hours with Steve in the cinema or on DVD, watching him project himself onto the screen as someone else. Then along comes a chance to see Steve as himself: vulnerable on the stage, armed with decades worth of human material that could easily inspire rooms full of paid Y goers. 

Then something happens.

I’m quoting from the NYT article now: Sol Adler, the Y’s executive director: “We acknowledge that last night’s event with  Steve Martin did not meet the standard of excellence that you have come to expect from 92nd St. Y,” he wrote in an e-mail to ticket holders. “We planned for a more comprehensive discussion and we, too, were disappointed with the evening. We will be mailing you a $50 certificate for each ticket you purchased to last night’s event. The gift certificate can be used toward future 92Y events, pending availability.”

Apparently most of the interview was spent discussing art and Mr. Martin’s passion for collecting art. Fine topics, but not what the seekers of human connection wanted (read: a chance to peek into Steve Martin’s world even if just for an hour). They wanted the “accessible Steve Martin”.  Tell us a story, Steve. Inspire us with your insights and experience. Collecting expensive art is not accessible to a vast majority of citizens (and I’d be willing to bet a vast majority of those who dug into their jeans to find $50 to see Mr. Martin).

Any public speaker take note: If you make yourself accessible you will succeed.  It’s easy to be accessible. Have a conversation that reaches out to your audience.  Know that your audience are human and they want the vulnerable, imperfect speaker who has some contradictions (something I call, “V.I.C”). Steve Martin, indeed all people, is a man with V.I.C..

Questions that eventually were allowed to come (6 or 7 at the end) were all related to his “film and TV career”. Surprise, surprise!  Sadly, the interviewer, Deborah Solomon,  who writes a weekly interview column for The New York Times Magazine, saw this need to “hear about Hollywood” as something far different than a chance at accessibility and other human qualities. Quoting from the NY Times, she sounds, to put it lightly, rather condescending:

“Frankly, you would think that an audience in New York, at the 92nd Street Y, would be interested in hearing about art and artists,” Ms. Solomon added in an e-mail. “I had no idea that the Y programmers wanted me to talk to Steve instead on what it’s like to host the Oscars or appear in ‘It’s Complicated’ with Alec Baldwin. I think the Y, which is supposedly a champion of the arts, has behaved very crassly and is reinforcing the most philistine aspects of a culture that values celebrity and award shows over art.”

Ms. Solomon, your audience did want to hear about art and artists. They paid to see an artist. They came to get inspired by an artist, hear his stories, take lessons from his struggles as a contributor to the art world.  They wanted a glimpse into the world of Steve Martin, his history, his experience. If you had “no idea” as to what the audience or the Y wanted, perhaps a few simple questions would have solved that. All good interviewers — all good public speakers — need to react to the energy of their audience.  Improv is not just for actors like Steve Martin.  And this isn’t even improv I’m talking about. The best public speakers are the most observant. You were put on the stage but you failed to observe or acknowledge the energy and enthusiasm of those who paid to be in front of the stage.

The conversation fell flat because of the barrier that was put up between audience and speaker(s).  Not the first time it’s happened — and nor (sadly) will it be the last. We’re all V.I.C. . Honor that and your presentation will find an appreciative audience happy to spend that $50 for an hour of human engagement.

Widely considered a negative phrase, when we hear it we freeze up. Surprises, the statement implies, are not “good”. Something to be avoided. 

No surprises then that I take issue with this phrase.  Strong issue. It’s time we look at it in a different, far more inspiring way.

When we encourage surprises we promote creative thinking. When we promote creative thinking everyone is much more relaxed and confident.  A tone of “human engagement” is set and the positive communication will flow accordingly.

Declaring that you want an environment of “no surprises” stifles the atmosphere. People retreat from their natural selves.  They are afraid to break from routine. And when you don’t break from routine the environment grows very stale, very quickly. When that happens, boredom sets in.  Boredom is high up on the list of human beings’ greatest fears.  No one wants to be bored! Boredom has forced a lot of people to make some very irrational decisions (including myself).

I acknowledge that some surprises can cause a negative reaction. I wouldn’t, for example, want to be given the “surprise” of suddenly being diagnosed with a life threatening illness.  That’s not what I’m getting at here. 

In the film “Invictus”, Nelson Mandela (played by Morgan Freeman) says, when referring to the white people of post-apartheid South Africa, “We have to surprise them with restraint and generosity.”

Surprise them with restraint and generosity.  Wonderful phrase.

In public speaking or all forms of communications, we need to be aware of how our “surprises” can positively impact our audience (clients, colleagues, friends, family…).   Surprises are ways of thinking and acting differently; of not giving us what we “expect”.  Expectations are a dangerous thing. Surprises that break the stereotypes, dismantle the expectations, relieve the boredom, are positive ways forward.  We need much more of that in the world.

Encourage surprises in your office.  Promote an atmosphere of inspired communications. Surprise yourself…do something different…and in turn surprise the others around you.

Speaking Energy…pass it on.

Here are 5 reasons why a new attitude towards body language is needed.  

1.  Body language makes very little sense

When we’re nervous we  have very little control over our body language. Our unconscious mind takes over and “puts us in a position that tries to calm us down.”  We can’t plan for it.  Folding our arms happens — a lot. Tensing up our hands happens — a lot.  Tapping our foot happens — a lot. On and on.  Body language is a language of the unknown. Stop stressing over it and start embracing how natural and individual it is to all humans on the planet. Your arms will un-hinge, your feet will stop tapping, the tension will ease.  Take a deep breath,  find the eye contact…etc.   You’ll get there in your own natural way.

2.  We already know the basics

I was asked by a client to ‘teach body language’ in meetings.  The first thing I said was:  A vast majority of us already know the “dos and don’ts of body language. We learned it when we were young (just as we learned that it’s polite to say please and thank you). I don’t need to “teach” that.  For example, we know not to put our feet up on the table, we know we should probably sit up straight, we know we should keep our heads up and engage in ‘soft’ eye contact.  I was reminded of all  of these “rules” (and more) when I taught 8 year olds public speaking a few years ago.   Human engagement happens when we stop worrying about body langauge rules! We know the basics. We are well on our way to “good” body language.

3.  When we look for the body language we stop listening

A friend of mine said it best the other day. He is doing lots of interviewing now and he can tell when the interviewer is trying to “size up the body language” (which many unfortunately do).  “They ask me a question and then they stop listening to the answer and start only focusing on where my hands are, my eyes, my posture, etc. Very frustrating!”  As I’ve written a bit about in this blog, job interviews should focus on human engagement. Storytelling. Genuine conversations.  Both sides have to listen in order to get the most out of the discussion.  Watching for body language means we stop listening. When we stop listening we stop learning.  When we stop learning we get frustrated. When we get frustrated we…(you fill in the rest — body language optional).

4.  The 20th Century is behind us. What have we learned?

Body language is part of that old 20th Century debate/phrase: “What are the signs you are a successful sales person.”   Look for the body language indicators and you will see how “well you are doing.”  We are in the 21st Century now. People are distracted. They are bored. Sadly, they have so many things to pull them away from engaging in human conversations.  If you make people curious they will listen. And they will listen in the way that is “natural to them.”  Not natural to you…to them!   Learn to let humans be humans, not some manufactured 20th Century clone of something you “want them to be” when you talk to them.  I’ve never seen 2 speakers exactly alike. Connect to those differences.

5.  There is a lot of “con” in con-trol of body language

Humans come with their moods, emotions, feelings, histories, stories, experiences…on and on.  When we communicate with that we either connect to it or we don’t. Sometimes we have “off days” — times when we can’t connect to anyone.  The next day we meet the same people and we have lots of connection. Everything seems to work.  Why? Different day, different energy, different experiences. Worrying about body language when we communicate is a waste of time and energy.  It will only make us more nervous.  We can’t control human energy in others. We can only hope to inspire a new energy (if needed).  Or, better, yet, build a new atmosphere for open, productive communications.  Don’t try and con anyone into body language con-trol.  As I’ve stated above, they already know the basics and the rest will happen when they are “ready”.

Enjoy your new communications atmosphere free of the body language pain!

I’ve just completed a lengthy stay in Jakarta. Always enjoy going to that city. It’s full of fascinating surprises. Besides doing a series of workshops for my clients, I visited a number of companies who are keen to develop a Speaking Energy partnership. One such client impressed me with their unique approach to managing their employees (who number in the several hundred).  As I promised to respect confidentiality, I won’t name them here. But I can tell you that they are taking an impressive long-term view on how to completely re-invent their human resources procedures and policies.  One such strategy is removing the term “human resources” and changing it to “Colleague Concierge”.   Human resources is a confusing phrase in many companies where a visible disconnect exists between the HR team and the Management team.  Through no fault of their own, HR practitioners are often isolated and thus ineffective. This needs to change. As such, this forward thinking multinational in Jakarta has renamed HR — and the results are definitely showing.

From the moment I walked into this company’s facility I was met with an energized, motivated group of employees. People who were keen to communicate with me.  Our public speaking (a meeting of 4 people, which is also an example of ”public speaking”) was open and free-flowing. A lively exchange of ideas. When they told me about their fascinating approach to HR, I was not only impressed, but I had a lot of questions as well.  Colleague Concierge sets a nice tone. A welcoming tone. Staff knows that if there is a problem, they have somewhere to go. Just as guests at a hotel know that concierge in the lobby can answer questions, staff at this company know their Colleague Concierge can also address questions and problems. And yes, there is even a Colleague Concierge desk set up at this firm. 

Setting the tone in the office can be done in so many positive — and, unfortunately, negative ways.  The HR team at this company has a new foundation by which they can work. A new level of trust built simply through changing the “label”.  Communications is the foundation of everything that goes on at the office. With Colleague Concierge around to help, the communications appears to be thriving at this inspired company.

Needless to say, I left that meeting hoping that I can find a way to partner with them on future projects.

Singapore next week. Speaking Energy…pass it on.

Interviews typically follow a similar pattern. Many of you reading this would have experienced the classic interview questions: tell me about your last job; why do you want to work here? Give me an example of your leadership skills? What are your weaknesses, what are your strengths? What do you know about our company? Where do you see yourself in 5 years? What books are you reading right now? 

After going through a few of these types of interviews it is easy for us to go into “memorization mode” where we simply just repeat what we’ve told other companies or rehearse a few “good” answers.  It’s hard to get inspired by these types of questions. It’s hard to present your best side to the interviewer. The other problem is the lack of human connection that goes on in the interview.  We are trying to present ourselves but the interviewer is looking at our resume or going through a checklist of questions. Extremely distracting! My failed interview involved exactly that.  The manager on the other side was running through the list showing very little interest in me — or the interview itself. The message was: this is not a great place to work — the manager in front of me has such little enthusiasm for this discussion, so why should I? After about the fifth question my brain started to wander, I became frustrated and the discussion fell flat.  In short, the energy exchange in this public speaking session was very low.

A few days later I got feedback on the interview from the HR person. They said that the interviewer felt I “did not ask enough questions” at the end of the interview and this, for them, is a key measuring tool for how they choose to hire. The HR manager was right, I didn’t ask enough questions. In fact, I asked almost none.  Why? By the time we got to the end of the interview there was no incentive to ask questions. My inspiration to ask questions was low. Have you ever been to a presentation where the speaker did not get any questions because their presentation was not “different” or engaging? Too many slides or a written speech perhaps? No interaction with the audience? I have certainly seen my share of those.  Well, this interview followed the thanks-any-questions-now mode.  And I showed my lack of enthusiasm by not raising my hand…or, in this case, simply not saying anything at all.  Failed interview and failed presentation (on both sides).  Great presentations are an energy exchange.  Now for an example of an interview that went very well.

I went in to this interview expecting the standard style. When I sat down I got the opposite.  The manager and I had a conversation that went way off track because the manager, like me, wanted an inspired conversation. He was taking time out of his day to see me. How could he make it different?  First thing he did was ask a unique question: tell me about your first ever job and what it taught you.  My first job was delivering papers. I have a lot of stories about that job.  The interviewer took genuine interest in those stories — and I had fun telling them. He then discussed his first job and I could spontaneously ask questions about that. A 2-way conversation flow.   After about 30 minutes the discussion moved into some of my previous experience and other topics related to my potential hiring, but by that point I could feel that the energy in the interview was high.  The manager delivered the unexpected and it changed the course of the interview.  It was inspiring and different. Afterwards, I got the phone call from HR saying the manager thought it went very well and would I come in for another interview.  A successful public speaking presentation!

In this blog I mention human connection as being key to all great presentations.  It only takes one to find that connection.  My job interviews were either going to be successful or not based on the energy of the audience and the speaker.  The first speaker set a tone of low energy and low interest.  This then passed to me (the audience) and I reacted accordingly when I became the speaker. The second speaker did exactly the opposite.  They delivered different (first question) and this immediately changed the energy and raised my interest in the conversation. My presentation was strong as a result. Both audience and speaker “win” in this case.  

Job interviews are not meant to be easy…but they should be inspiring for both sides. Interviewer, don’t expect that you’ll get great questions if you haven’t set a great tone.  Motivate the interviewee to ask intelligent questions.   And job candidate, don’t expect the standard questions. Be prepared to be challenged and go off track. Energize your audience with stories (not memorized speech) that will make them remember you. Be different, be daring, show your passion and enthusiasm, find the human connection…that’s what all great public speakers do!

Good luck!

I was pleased to see Robert W. Selander, chief executive of MasterCard, say in a New York times article http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/27/business/27corner.html?pagewanted=1&ref=business&src=me that quote: “It is too easy to let the person with great presentation or language skills buffalo you into thinking that they are better or more knowledgeable than someone else who might not necessarily have that particular set of skills.”

So true, Mr. Selander!

From my experiences throughout Asia over the last 17 years, I can say that the best speakers I’ve seen have more often than not been people who struggle with English.  How did they get around this in their speech to people who were “expecting English?”  They were 1) Honest: stating up front that they might have difficulty; 2) They did what every speaker should do — told a story (which puts language biases aside very quickly as we listen to the story — the more personal the better; and 3) They did not let “words get in the way” — ie. too many slides or glances away at a written speech.  In short, they gave us human and we the audience gave human right back through enthusiastic listening.

Personally, one of my most memorable speeches ever was in Vietnam where almost no one understood English at all. We resorted to smiles and nods to have our “conversation.”  I brought the attention back to me the speaker because when I opened my mouth to speak through the first few slides I knew that I was quickly becoming “forgettable.”  Silence and smiles and nods returned the energy to the room.  It was “different” but different is always memorable! And I got quite a few business cards and energetic handshakes afterwards. Success!

I’ve made a lot of progress in Thailand recently through this exact message.  The business papers there are picking up on it.

The reality is, we don’t do enough listening. Listening with our eyes.  Next time, stop and have a good look at your audience (even if that consists of only a few people). The best public speakers are always the most observant. And that skill is definitely language neutral.

Speaking Energy…human speaking without the noise of language.

My message to my clients: if you don’t deliver “different” you won’t get very many listeners. I witnessed two presentations recently that highlighted a reoccurring public speaking problem. Something I term “the public speaking Google effect.”

Far too many speakers are giving their audience things that almost anyone can get access to themselves via a quick Google search. Research is important, statistics sometimes, too, but it is very difficult to engage an audience now when you are relying on easily accessible Google data to do so. Everyone can get the data that you got. Is anything a “secret” anymore? How do you set yourself apart?

If you have a statistic. Keep it short, keep it simple. Take the opportunity to highlight a point about that statistic that is relevant to you and your company (if you work for one). In other words, distance yourself from Google as quickly as you can. That fastest way to engaging an audience is taking the human route. The one where you do the storytelling…not Google.

Technology can hinder public speaking — if you let it. 10 years ago (maybe even less) you could spend an hour on Google and develop the coolest presentation that 99% of the audience would be impressed by. Today, that is not so easy. We live in a world where we are extremely distracted. We want — and need — to hear a speaker who is willing to challenge us with “different.” If we get different we are far less distracted. This is how an audience becomes inspired. Google does not do the inspiring…you do! Get out there and find the human connection.

Thanks for the email questions about appearing as a guest speaker. If you want to see me speak at your company or city…just ask.

Any of us who have ever tried to be “good” at something know that improving our skills usually starts with actually enjoying the journey. 

Is public speaking an “acquired taste?” Is it something we like better with time?  I certainly didn’t love public speaking in university. But I definitely love it today. Why? Because I clearly understand what it is — human speaking.  I love human speaking and I do it everyday. From ordering my coffee to speaking to taxi drivers to sharing stories with friends to consulting to my clients around the globe…on and on.  What was my motivation to be good at it? (Or at least enjoy it)?  I’ll give some thoughts on that shortly. First, here is one very famous person’s public speaking discovery.

A New York Times article on the famed writer, Christopher Hitchens  revealed this . “While studying at Oxford in the late 1960s he discovered that ‘if you can give a decent speech in public or cut any kind of figure on the podium, then you never need dine or sleep alone.’” (http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/02/books/02book.html?th&emc=th)

Interesting discovery indeed. One that I certainly haven’t thought of.

My reasons for improving my public speaking had a lot more to do with wanting to tackle my fear of it. I do not like being scared of anything — especially things that we have no reason to be scared of.  Why should we be scared of public speaking (ah, human speaking)? That never made sense to me! As I started to analyze my fear (on my own), I came to the realization that we put many of these fears upon ourselves. 

One method that immediately helped me to improve was making lots of mistakes.  What better way to learn than to make mistakes? Problem is, many companies — large and small — are afraid of letting their people make mistakes.  Note to companies around the globe. Insist that your employees experiment with public speaking — and have the necessary resources (ie. people) around to encourage that exploration. Build the “positive speaking energy.”  Mistakes are rarely career ending when it comes to public speaking.

Did better public/human speaking improve my career? I guess it did…I’ve built a career around it. My company, Speaking Energy is global because public speaking is global.  Am I “good” at it?  Good is a subjective word. I know I’m passionate about it. Passion is a big step in the right direction if you want to be “good” at something.

So for those who think that good public speaking will improve their careers. The first thing you have to do is start enjoying the journey to improvement. Find some passion for it. After that you’ll see the results. Just ask Mr. Hitchens.

***

Thanks for the emails. I answer all questions…keep them coming. Much appreciated.

One question stood out: public speaking — style or content? Do we respond more to speakers with great style or to speakers with great content. 

Our appreciation for someone’s style and content is definitely subjective. We don’t all like the same things — thankfully.  I was at a presentation recently where the room was very much divided on their response to the speaker; a marketing manager who liked to use a lot of humor.  Some laughed, some didn’t.  Both style and content merged and the results were mixed.

My speaking mantra is: “If I haven’t given you an inspiring story, I’ve given you nothing to take home.”  Inspiration is style neutral. Inspiration is honesty. I’ve seen the quietest, shyest person in the room inspire a large audience.  Their style was not flashy. It was based on human connection. Eyes to the listeners, pausing, refraining from notes.  I’ve also seen a very slick PowerPoint presentation — colors, graphics, videos, etc — fall flat because the speaker tried to use technology to carry his speech when he needed to step in front of the laptop (literally) and talk to the people who were there to listen to him not the slides. 

The best content is the content that you the speaker is most passionate about.  Because if it gets you excited it will likely get your audience excited (or at least listening).  And it needn’t be complicated. Speeches and presentations are meant to inspire further communication. Follow-up meetings, telephone chats, strategy sessions, etc.  If you are hitting your audience with way too much stuff they may end up not connecting  or understanding anything that you said. And this will make them reluctant to have further dialogue with  you (or, perhaps less motivated by you if you’re the manager of the group).  Less is definitely more sometimes.

When you’re passionate about your topic — or some part of your topic that you’ve wisely chosen to focus on — style flows naturally. It’s not something that needs rehearsal. And it’s not something you have to change or work on.

Get out there and energize and inspire your audience with the style and content that energizes and inspires you the most.  I’ve never seen two speakers exactly alike so right away you’re unique and different…and everyone is interested in that.

Speaking Energy: Public Speaking for Humans…Finally! is doing well in stores and on Amazon. Thank you all for your support.

As a global communications consultant I am seeing the “art of noise” become standard practice in our world. Everyone wants to be heard. But are we giving people that opportunity? Unless there are listeners willing to stop and take in what is being said — ie. actually listen — then words are simply just noise. We generally shut down around noise. Escape from it.

Or do we simply not want to escape from noise? 

Maybe we are used  to the noise, learned to deal with it? Used to what it does to us (frustration, anger…) that we have found a way to accept it.  If that’s the case, then it might explain why so few people have made listening part of their “daily routine.” Why should they, they’ve found a better solution.  An easier solution to listening. Listening is too hard. Talking — shouting — is a lot easier.

Companies large and small are making it harder for their employees to be heard.  Harder for their employees to contribute to company culture.  As Grant McCracken, author of the fabulous book, Chief Culture Officer says: Employees no longer want to check their identities at the door. They want to be part of the culture making process. They want to be heard. And yes, that does involve listening.

But are companies listening to that call? No one wants to work for a company where listening is out-of-bounds.

Driving around LA (a town where cars rule), I was constantly being shouted at.  Billboards, honking, street noise, radio (my fault for turning it on — that and my mobile phone)…the lingering noise from my previous meeting.  Arriving at my destination, I assumed others there had to deal with much of the same noise that I had dealt with in my commute.  My assumptions were generally proven correct when I witnessed the competition to be heard begin.

Here is some good news. The new art of noise is a much more inspiring craft.  It provides a landscape for all to contribute.  And it involves the “L word”.

We humans are at our best when we have a platform to listen and acknowledge. It allows us to be much better speakers.  In my experience witnessing countless public speakers, I always find that the best speakers are usually the best listeners. The two go hand in hand. Try it sometime.

Speaking and Listening Energy…pass it on.