Positive Communication: Surprise yourself, surprise others
September 8, 2010
Here is a phrase so often heard (throughout my life anyway): “I don’t want any surprises”.
Widely considered a negative phrase, when we hear it we freeze up. Surprises, the statement implies, are not “good”. Something to be avoided.
No surprises then that I take issue with this phrase. Strong issue. It’s time we look at it in a different, far more inspiring way.
When we encourage surprises we promote creative thinking. When we promote creative thinking everyone is much more relaxed and confident. A tone of “human engagement” is set and the positive communication will flow accordingly.
Declaring that you want an environment of “no surprises” stifles the atmosphere. People retreat from their natural selves. They are afraid to break from routine. And when you don’t break from routine the environment grows very stale, very quickly. When that happens, boredom sets in. Boredom is high up on the list of human beings’ greatest fears. No one wants to be bored! Boredom has forced a lot of people to make some very irrational decisions (including myself).
I acknowledge that some surprises can cause a negative reaction. I wouldn’t, for example, want to be given the “surprise” of suddenly being diagnosed with a life threatening illness. That’s not what I’m getting at here.
In the film “Invictus”, Nelson Mandela (played by Morgan Freeman) says, when referring to the white people of post-apartheid South Africa, “We have to surprise them with restraint and generosity.”
Surprise them with restraint and generosity. Wonderful phrase.
In public speaking or all forms of communications, we need to be aware of how our “surprises” can positively impact our audience (clients, colleagues, friends, family…). Surprises are ways of thinking and acting differently; of not giving us what we “expect”. Expectations are a dangerous thing. Surprises that break the stereotypes, dismantle the expectations, relieve the boredom, are positive ways forward. We need much more of that in the world.
Encourage surprises in your office. Promote an atmosphere of inspired communications. Surprise yourself…do something different…and in turn surprise the others around you.
Speaking Energy…pass it on.
