Source of inspiration: the audience

I was watching “Spectacle”, the excellent talk show hosted by Elvis Costello on the Sundance Channel last night.  Tony Bennett was the guest (Episode 5). What made this episode so watchable was Mr. Bennett’s stories.  It was an “interview” full of great stories from the music industry. Personal stories of Tony Bennett’s experience as a singer with a passion for music — and a long history working with some of the biggest names in the industry. 

At one point Costello asked him what his sources of inspiration were.  The reply:  my audience, spreading his arms out to those seated in front of him (and they were listening to every word).

Part of our ‘fear of public speaking’ is that we see the audience as our “enemy”.  We go in thinking they want to harm us, not help us. Public speaking is not a ‘me vs. you’ act.  As I’ve mentioned several times, public speaking is a ‘shared energy’. If we want to be boring speakers we will get boring right back from the audience.   The audience wants you to succeed. They don’t want to be stuck in their seats listening to someone who is not interested in being up there talking to them in a human way, an inspiring way. The audience wants to be a part of something that they can listen to.  Give them a chance to listen. Give them stories and anecdotes and vulnerability and inspiration.

You don’t have to be famous like Tony Bennett to grab people’s attention. You just have to be willing to stand up there like Tony Bennett — without notes, without slides, without any barriers — and engage them.  Everyone loves a story. You have hundreds if not thousands of them.  Believe me, you do.

The audience is our source of inspiration. Trust the audience and your energy will go WAY up as you see how they are reacting to you the speaker in a trusting way. They made it there to listen to you. What a great opportunity you have.  Make it count. Make it inspiring and different.

Enjoy!

Saving the boring speaker. An audience responsibility?

The word ‘responsibility’ always intrigues me. It’s used a lot, but to what result?

I had an interesting discussion with a well-known speaker about this very word yesterday and how it pertained to an audience. Is it an audience’s responsibility to listen? 

As children, most of us were taught manners: ‘please’, ‘thank you’, ‘sorry’, etc.  Those manners have not necessarily translated well to listening skills.  Is it rude not to listen? Should you listen carefully to a speaker?

I’ve already written a bit about the “Blackberry distraction” in this blog.  Many executives run their jobs by this tiny handheld. They let it interrupt them at anytime, in any place — presentations in particular.  Rude or practical?

During my workshops I talk about audience responsiblity as much as speaker responsibility. The audience does not have to listen. Yes, it would be nice if they did. But without repeating myself too much (see several previous blog posts) they really don’t have to. The speaker sets the tone. The more human it is, the more relatable it is.  I recently spoke to a group of accountants about my understanding of their profession — and that understanding was very little. I presented it from my point of view. Genuine and honest. I got laughter — and listeners.  I tried to connect to them in a human way. I didn’t need to be an accountant. Just someone who understood what their challenges and struggles were (mostly trying to deal with idealistic marketing people like me!).

So how can you save a boring speaker? Stare at them. Don’t take your eyes of them. They will find you. They’ll find your energy. They’ll connect.  They’ll probably speak to you the entire time.  Everyone wants to speak to a listener, right?

It’s not your responsibility. But since you are there you may as well make it worthwhile — and interesting. You’ll change the energy for you, the speaker and the rest of the audience. Why the rest of the audience? Because the speaker will gain confidence from your eyes. That helps everyone.

Enjoy!

 

The Confident Public Speaker

I want to be a confident public speaker. Not a nervous public speaker.

My global clients always put that at the top of their wish list when we begin our work together.  Confidence is a powerful energy. So is nervousness — which is why I never want to get rid of nervousness. If you’re not nervous, you’re not ready to speak.  Heart racing, blood pumping.  This is called adrenaline. And all of us have experienced adrenaline.  It’s the energy that allows us to focus on our goal. It’s the energy we’ve experienced before a big game, a big exam, a big race…a big date.  Public speaking is a massive adrenaline rush. Confident public speakers always experience the adrenaline rush.

Confidence is perceived by others in many ways.  How do we ‘judge’ confidence? Is it tone of voice? Body language? How much knowledge you have? How you’re dressed?  To me, confidence in public speaking is how much you’re willing to give yourself to an audience. How much you’re willing to break from the “normal way of doing things” in order to present something that the audience didn’t expect. You didn’t do the standard, “hi, I’m Manager big company, here is my agenda (go through that slide), here are my slides (go through those), thank you, any questions?”

We’ve all seen that presentation.  Not the most inspiring way of doing things. But we’ve also seen the speaker who doesn’t do it this way (go to Ted.com to see some great examples). Those speakers leave a memorable impression. Yes, some of them have slides (and I still use slides as well) but they don’t rely on slides to lead them. They rely on the human contact to guide their presentation. This is confidence. And all of us have the ability to do this. 

The first 2 minutes (see my earlier blog post) is very tough. But you will settle in by finding the eyes, finding the energy source. You have to give your audience the chance to connect to you, though (one to one million).  Turning to slides right away will disconnect you. Once you do this, it is very tough to reconnect.

The confident public speaker is inside every speaker. Public speaking is human speaking…nervousness and all.

Enjoy!

 

Cut off after 2 minutes

Public speaking is not always the standing presentation in front of a room full of people.  Last week I conducted some presentations with 1 and 2 people in a room. For me, these presentations are often the most difficult. I prefer a larger room. More energy to connect to. More eyes.

In the smaller room there are a lot more distractions as well.  If my audience of one decides to do something else besides listen…well, my presentation just got a lot more difficult — and energy depleting.

One presentation stood out. I was cut off after 2 minutes. The listener had his own agenda: a list of things that, as I discovered later, were on his mind well before I got there. This is why public speaking is a ‘here and now’ exercise.  Difficult to prepare for being cut off after 2 minutes because of an agenda I was unaware of. Energy is everything.

The person I was speaking to (or trying to) had just come out of a high stress meeting an hour before I met him. He had a lot on his mind. Very distracted. One of the first points I raised was something similar to an issue he recently had. This set him off. Not in a bad way, just in a way that cut short what I was trying to put across. The presentation went way off track and didn’t return to its original point — the one that I had envisioned before I got there. The one that I prepared for.

A bad thing? Not really. In fact, it probably worked out better than I thought because I have another meeting scheduled with him and 2 of his colleagues. That is definitely something I didn’t prepare for! But, like the first meeting, the energy that shows up to our next session will be key to how the meeting unfolds. I can control the energy to a point — enthusiasm, inspiration, finding the eyes, sharing a story — but energy exchange is a 2-way street…there will be a lot of traffic coming my way.

If you’re cut off after 2 minutes think of it as a chance to evaluate the audience — even if that audience is just one person. Observe the mood, the energy and see where it can take the rest of the meeting. Lots of positive things can happen after 2 minutes.

Enjoy!

Public Speaking and the Media

Is public speaking the same as speaking to the media? Should journalists be spoken to in the same way as a “corporate audience”?

I am often asked these and similar questions.  My answer is, journalists are human too. They want to be inspired. They are looking for ways to connect to a story. Sometimes that story is positive, sometimes it’s not.  Are they biased? Possibly. But it’s possible that an audience of executives can be biased as well. Biased attitudes are created. Human experience shapes your attitude toward something.  Rapid creation or slow creation. Speed and results are tough to predict. 

If you’re the person speaking on behalf of your company you have to contend with possible hostilities. Tough questions. Negative sentiment.  Your company may have the answers for you. Will they be the “right answers”?  Again, tough to predict until you communicate to other humans who are feeling a certain way before they hear your answers.  And they may not be listening at all. They are coming with their answers, their attitudes, their human experiences. A collision course or a comfortable conversation? 

Human speaking, human conversations are full of possibilities. I’ve spoken to hundreds of journalists around the world. Sometimes those conversations went well, sometimes they didn’t.  But the successful conversations are always the ones where we went off topic. Where we found something to discuss that neither of us predicted would happen. My most successful public speaking sessions were always the same.  Going off topic changes the energy. It relaxes, it inspires — sometimes in equal measure.

Journalists, like  executives,  hate being bored. A boring speaker, a boring interview, is never going to result in an inspired article.  In this world of competitive media everyone wants the “different story”, the unique angle. Something that will sell papers, attract viewers.  “Exclusives” are sought by all media. What if there is no exclusive? What if there is a room full of journalists all listening to the same executive? 

Public speaking — media or non-media — is an energy exchange. It’s the speaker’s responsibility to find a way in to their audience. Sometimes it means asking questions, telling a story, admitting a problem.  Create new energy by inspiring a new energy.  Remember, people will always listen when they hear “different”.  They’ll react. You don’t have to be extreme or controversial, just be conscious of the basic human desires. We love stories, we love different.  Everyone has the capacity to tell a story. Everyone has the capacity to be different.

When something is too staged or too ‘corporate PR spin’, we are not inspiring the listener — journalists included. If you need to tell the corporate story mix it in with something else — something that can change the conversation and make it more engaging. 

Everyone, regardless of age or title, loves to be inspired. Speak to the media not with fear or mistrust, but with the knowledge that you are speaking to another human. Find a way in. Make it memorable, different.  Going in to a situation fearing it will always end with negative results. Doesn’t matter what you are doing.  Set a ‘fearless tone’ but recognizing the human(s) in front of you. Energy is always changing — and because of that, so too are moods. 

Public speaking and the media. Find the human connection. It works.

Business development pitches. Avoiding the sales tone.

I have clients — legal,  IT and real estate in particular — who do a lot of public speaking to win new business. Their pitches are directed at people in the audience who make decisions on how to spend money. Chasing money is a stressful thing. I’ve had some clients who are goaled on a quarterly basis. If they don’t hit their targets they are let go.  When I heard them conduct presentations, (sales pitches) their tone reflected their stress. The audience picked up on it too. In short, no one likes being “sold to”.

I recently bought a TV because my discussion with the sales person was a human one. We didn’t talk about features, benefits, warranties, etc until well after I had already made the decision to buy that TV (though the sales guy didn’t know that). Our discussion was about his family. How his son is addicted to video games and plays XBox for hours on end and the salesman/father was having little success in controlling it.  Was this conversation sales related? Did it need to be?

For the first question I answer ‘yes’. Any sales transaction has to be human. Sales are about trust. We buy because we trust.  In our public speaking session (and that’s what it was — sales guy the speaker, me the listener), a lot of trust was built up.  Was his ‘story’ genuine? My instinct told me it was. Instinct is a powerful thing. It’s what we go on for many of our important decisions (especially the spontaneous ones).  If he had come at me with the sales jargon I would have retreated. I didn’t want to be ‘sold’, I wanted to be ‘reassured’.  Reassured that if I had bought that TV I would be getting a product from someone I could trust.  The vulnerability the salesman showed helped me to see that trust.  It reflected well not only on him but on the company that employed him as well. There didn’t appear to be an agenda in what I was discussing with the concerned father/TV guy. And so I made the decision to buy.

Did our discussion need to be sales related? For that I answer, ‘no’.  Remember, public speaking is the most powerful opportunity to win trust — and win new business.  A friend of mine recently admitted to me that he “gets all of his new business from speaking engagements.”  He’s not alone.   Trust is an energy exchange. A positive one.  Inspire the audience to get your business card after you speak because you’ve inspired them to want to take your business card after you speak. Endless slides and prepared text will not be the catalyst for that inspiration. 

Avoid the sales tone. Be human, be different…win new business on behalf of your company.

 

The Public Speaking Engine

I’ve been talking to television executives in LA.  The world of entertainment in Hollywood is a mysterious, intimidating, frustrating, mind-boggling, inspiring (yes, that too) world of endless characters who all have an opinion on “what works”.  When you have people quick with the “how to’s”, the mind becomes a blur of opinion.  This can quickly detach you from your vision. The one that inspired you to have meetings/discussions in the first place. 

Listening and learning is an important part of the public speaking journey. One point that came up in a meeting yesterday was the term “engine”.  Every television show has an engine that drives that episode.  The show is set up quickly and the plot unfolds accordingly.  This may be like the agenda in a public speaking presentation. Problem is, agendas are often unmotivating. They set up what you’re going to say, but they also set the listener up for what will probably be lots of slides and/or speech read from a script. Audiences are scared of agendas.  The term ‘agenda’ has been given a negative connotation. “He has an agenda”. 

The best presentations I’ve seen have agendas — but they are set out as “structures that will inspire”.  The speaker wants to energize the audience because he knows we are all wary of the same-old, same-old that exists in public speaking. In that sense, then, the agenda is like letting us in on a secret. “I’ve got a story to tell”; “I’ve got 3 things to tell you”; “I started in this business because I am passionate about technology…let me share some of that today.”   There are many ways to reveal a secret. There are many ways to inspire people to listen.

Every time you have a chance to speak, think along the lines of your favourite film or TV show. How is the ‘plot set up’? What happens to hold your attention? Usually it’s the characters that are “different”. Usually it’s a suprising twist. Usually it’s a dramatic moment. The engine starts revving early in the show and you stick around long enough to see it through till the exciting conclusion.

All of us have the public speaking engine. Make your episodes jump from the “screen”. You’re the speaker, you’re the character; your audience wants to connect with you.

Enjoy!

Judging Audience Reaction

Yesterday I met with a client who does a lot of new business pitches. He complained that it’s almost impossible to read the audience reaction.  “Often it’s the audiences with no facial expressions that like my presentations the most,” he explained.

Audience reaction is something we have very little control over. Certainly we can try to be funny or serious or informative — that’s what we control as speaker — but how our presentation is perceived by the humans in front of us is a mystery until we actually experience it. I’ve written a lot about ‘audience mood’ in this blog. How an audience is feeling at that moment defines much of how they’ll react.  You may have “expected” (that nasty word) a positive reaction but you didn’t get one. You’re baffled.  As one of my favorite yoga teachers like to say, ‘breath in intention, breathe out expecatations’.   Our intention is to try and find human connection to our audience. Stay focused on that. Breathe. Do not focus on expectation. That is the kind of action that can make us hold our breath.  And we all know what that can lead to.

Find the eyes, find the energy source.  If they’re not smiling or reacting, but they’re still looking at you…perfect. Keep going. The human connection is happening.  Judging audience reaction by facial expressions will only make you lose focus. It will de-energize you. The judging will be turned back on you. “I’ve failed” — when clearly you haven’t.

Keep going. Public speaking is an adventure.

Presenting your creative ideas. Giving a voice to the executive

An idea is something worth sharing. Whether an idea is “good” or not is, of course, subjective.  But I still think that most ideas should be communicated — especially within companies and corporations. Problem is, most executives are silenced by the people who “control the company voice”.  Speak when you are spoken to — not before. A saying our parents often heard.  One that we may have heard as well. 

People need to be heard.  Executives need to be heard. I have seen a lot of frustration build up in offices when the communication breaks down.  There are some outlets — many of which the company fears: Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, etc, etc.  Executives turning to other channels to be heard.

Human energy is capable of generating ideas, opinions, thoughts…dialogue.  Public speakers come from offices. So how can the company expect its executives to be strong public speakers if the energy of ideas, opinions, etc, are not being listened to and nurtured in the office?  The frustrated, angry executive is the same frustrated, angry public speaker. What about the content, inspired executive? 

Take the time to develop communication models in the office that give your executives a voice.  A real voice. Don’t make it some optional once a month Friday group lunch. Make it something unique and truly different.  And — and this is important — find the people with an intelligent vision to help facilitate it.  Managers need to be motivators — and be motivated to manage.  Communication is at the heart of this. Are your managers being heard? If not, how will they allow their team to be heard?

Let’s think about human communications. Behind every motivated employee is a company making money. In this era of revenue driven business models, there are humans making the machine work.

A long list of public speaking fears

In my global workshops and individual consulting, I always ask for a list of ’public speaking fears’.  The list is usually quite long — and the fears are repeated. The executive in Singapore has the same fears as the executive in New York.  There are a few differences — often cultural — but 90% are the same. We’re in this public speaking thing together. We have the same fears, the same hopes, the same desires. So how do we proceed?

I had a client who thought of 15 different things before he went up to speak — and he was asked to speak a lot as part of his job as a senior executive at a big firm.  These 15 different things were all fears.  How can anyone speak through that? Some of his fears included fear that ‘his zipper in his pants would break mid-speech.’  The opportunity to connect to his audience was lost in a sea of fear.  He wasn’t finding the success that he wanted with public speaking. 

The energy of fear is a powerful energy. It’s a human energy. One that all of us have experienced. Public speaking is an energy exchange.  I’ve had clients articulate their nervousness to the audience. “I’m very nervous right now”.  Did this make them less ‘powerful’? Not at all. In fact, it made them more powerful. The audience loved the honesty. They connected to it. They understood it. When the speaker saw what was happening, their confidence grew with every sentence. The audience was listening.

You don’t have to admit you’re nervous. But by pretending you’re not, you’ll lose your listeners.  In other words, check in with yourself. If your heart is racing. Great.  Use that energy to remind yourself that you have some inspiring things to share with your audience. Not endless slides and a long speech read word for word — very few people I know find that inspiring — but some stories, anecdotes, observations, curiosity…anything that you can share that’s different.  Anything that can get the eyes on to you the speaker. Human connection. Honest human connection.

Your only responsiblity is to find human connection when you speak. Many of us fear it. But don’t let a long list of irrational fears get in the way of what you can do. And that is inspire with a presentation that no one expected. Make it different. The fears will quickly go away. Can corporate be different? Absolutely. The corporate message has to come through sometimes. But it should never dominate the presentation. If we can read it on your website why do we have to hear it from you? Inspire me to want to go your website by giving me a human presentation. Human speaking is the best public speaking. It’s fearless public speaking.

Enjoy!